Irreconcilable Co-Writing Differences for Songwriters?

The Songtown Mailbox gets a lot of questions regarding what to do when you and your co-writers can’t agree on how to finish your song. So, here are my thoughts on the topic.

The general rule in the writing room is that everyone involved will commit to keep working on the song until each writer is happy with the end result. However, real life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes you have opposing views and can’t find any way to work out your differences. If that happens, here are some ways to address the problem and find out if it truly is irreconcilable or if there is a way to salvage the song.

1) Give each co-writer a chance to state the case for what they want. If each person shares WHY they want what they want, you can sometimes come to a compromise. Too often, we just say WHAT we want and don’t explain the WHY. Knowing the why can lead to a solution.

2) If that doesn’t work, just throw out the question – “Do you see any way that we can compromise and make this work”. If the answer is yes, you have hope. If not, then move on to #3 or #4.

3) Sometimes you just have to admit that it’s not working. In that case, if the idea originated with one of the other co-writers, then I just offer to let them take the idea back and write it with someone else. If it was my idea, I just ask “Do you mind if I just take the idea and work on it with someone else?” In either case, “working on it with someone else” means that I will start fresh and will not use any of the material (melody or lyric) that we came up with together.

You can also ask if they want to try to find a great idea that everyone can agree upon to write. Every now and then the problem is just the idea and you can move on to something else that everyone loves. I wrote my first #1 song on day #2 of a co-write that was going nowhere. We ditched the first idea and wrote a hit. Sometimes it really pays off to keep working at it even when it’s not easy.

4) Every now and then you just have to trash the whole thing and move on. I hate to do that but sometimes it happens. When that happens, I generally just don’t write with the person again. There are too many good co-writing opportunities to spend a lot of days working with someone who is difficult.

Every writer has walked out of a room that went sideways. What makes the next one go better usually isn’t talent — it’s the habits you bring in the door. That’s a craft of its own, and it’s the whole subject of mastering the art of co-writing.

A failed co-write doesn’t mean that you or the other writer(s) are bad writers. You just didn’t have the right chemistry that day. Learn from it. And move on 🙂

Marty Dodson